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Unfortunately, it’s been happening for a long time: People doing horrible things to each other. Marcus Aurelius was betrayed. Seneca was exiled on trumped-up charges. There were Stoics who were cheated on. There were Stoics who were persecuted. Stoics who were tortured.
How did they get over it? Did they get even? Get justice? The great Dr. Edith Eger (whose books we highly recommend and has been on The Daily Stoic Podcast twice) endured the Holocaust at Auschwitz. She was a victim of one of the most heinous crimes in human history. How did she get over it? Did she get even? Get justice?
As she recently said,
Marcus Aurelius reminded himself in his Meditations, perhaps after his betrayal, that “the best revenge is to not be like that.” He was saying that he had no choice about what was done to him, but he could choose not to be consumed by anger or a need to punish. He could choose not to be bitter. He could choose to be happy and to do good, to hug his kids, and to live his life.
Whatever has been done to us—minor or major—we have this choice too. We can take back our power and decide not just to live but to thrive. We can decide to not be like the people who did us wrong. We can choose to be better, to be happy, to do good.
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